ophelia's blog

a hacker, a fed, and a nun walk into a bar…

iPad: A bigger, clunkier, uglier, pricier, stupider iPod Touch

with 12 comments

Those of you that have been following me on Twitter know that I’m not a fan of over-hyped, overpriced, proprietary pieces of shit. You may also know that I have no need for a giant iPod Touch, and that my netbook runs Windows + Xubuntu + BT4 and does things that Apple’s lousy excuse for a tablet can’t. (Ok, I know that sounded kind of dirty…)

The internet has already gone through the basics of what’s lacking on the iPad. It isn’t revolutionary, it won’t change computing, hell – it can’t even run more than one app at a time! It doesn’t have a camera, can’t be used for presentations (no HDMI/VGA support), isn’t a fucking ‘Kindle-killer’, and it certainly is a long, loooooooooong way away from being a netbook killer. Suck it, Apple fanboys.

It’s funny that the very same Apple fanboys who claim that “BAWWW there is no need to run more than one app at a time!” were the same ones pointing, laughing, and snickering when Windows 7 for netbooks was rumored to only be restricted to 3! Whooope-de-do! Hell, some of the tech sites salivating over the iPad would have never let Microsoft get away with so much FAIL, but hey, you can’t make this shit up. Only the Apple Kool-Aid can.

On the subject of Flash, I’m rather torn on this. As much as I hate Flash and hope to see more and more devices moving away from it, for a tablet that bills itself as a netbook killer and a OH GOD A MULTIMEDIA CONSUMPTION DEVICE I’M GONNA CUM fanboy anal dildo, lack of Flash is unacceptable.

The  iPad is a locked-down, proprietary, Apple-controlled, DRM-laden failfest. It is clear that Apple is unwilling to open up its App Store, enable users to install third-party apps and apps that haven’t been explicitly allowed by Apple, or loosen their vice-like grip on their devices. Sure, the people who really want to tinker would jailbreak it eventually, but the point remains that users shouldn’t have to break into their own devices to actually, you know, use the device – nor face the possibility of legal action for tampering with a device that they own and paid for.

A netbook killer? Ha ha ha, Steve Jobs, you’re killing me…with laughter, that is.


Written by ophelia

February 4, 2010 at 3:38 am

Posted in FAIL, rants, tech

Tagged with , , ,

12 Responses

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  1. Just wanted to say as a fan of my MBP and my maxed out macpro at work… i think everything has its place and if shit works well, and I can hack away on it.. i’m cool with it. FreeBSD is my all time fave and even those its an anally rapped version of BSD backend… at least its something..

    THAT SAID! Agree 100% with your blog.. I feel the kool-aid has finally been spiked with crystal meth and the masses are becoming addicted. The iPad with no flash (no real big deal, HTML5/CSS will kill flash on its own) and a locked down app store, as you mentioned, are just fucking retarded…

    Hope you don’t catch too much flack from the true Fan boys.. I think you were dead on =)


    February 4, 2010 at 4:25 am

  2. For some strange reason, the discussions about the iPad©®™ have made me remember that “consumption” was also a disease[1]. How oddly appropriate as a metaphor. I say to the hell of their choice with “consumers”, what society really needs more of is participants.

    I’m still happy to see the $500 iPad®™© come out though, since if Apple® is willing to sell them for that price, it implies that an equivalent, more-functional Linux-based device ought to only cost $150-$200 or so. I want one. Or more.

    [1] tuberculosis, if I remember correctly


    February 4, 2010 at 4:45 am

  3. We share the same sentiment mate. Unfortunately we would see people flock to this thing. Remember the ipod and how there were many music players that were much better and had less restrictions but guess what. people still went for the ipod. In this world perception and sleazy advert is what rules.


    February 4, 2010 at 12:36 pm

  4. You’re wrong.

    Jeffrey Paul

    March 25, 2010 at 8:19 am

  5. Says the girl who is running out to by an over priced proprietary shitbox macbook lol FAIL.


    April 1, 2010 at 12:16 am

  6. i laughed till i cried

    steve bj

    April 4, 2010 at 2:19 am

  7. There’s a logical inconsistency in decrying the iPad as proprietary but also using Windows and saying lack of Flash is unacceptable.

    Also, good show on the XUbuntu, when I still had a desktop machine I really liked it.

    I’m looking forward (I think, honestly we’re like 3 years out) to Android devices having as sleek an experience as iPhone, iPod Touch, and iPad devices seem to have.

    Joe Crawford

    April 5, 2010 at 4:12 pm

  8. I can’t wait iMat LOL it is iPod, iPhone, iPad -> iMat! I hate Apple.


    April 18, 2010 at 5:34 pm

  9. […] I’ve been known to be…not very nice about things that are over-hyped…I’ll start out with the things I liked about […]

  10. i fail hard btw

    steve jobs

    September 4, 2010 at 10:50 pm

  11. That’s an all round well thought out piece!!!

    Drip Feed Blasts.com

    October 27, 2011 at 7:27 pm

  12. I don’t disagree with this writing..

    consulta de tarot telefonico

    November 27, 2011 at 6:06 pm

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